dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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