Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
