u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
