Got a toothbrush?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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