i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
