So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
