I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
