so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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