eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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