South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
