he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
