You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
