Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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