I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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