it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
