Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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