been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
