i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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