i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
