Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
