dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Less talking, more tequila
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
