i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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