We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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