pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
