at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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