To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you had me at cake vodka
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
