Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
