he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have fence marks all over my body
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
