Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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