Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize