how can u be prego again
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
