3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
