You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
