Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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