So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
