I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
