You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
