I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
