I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
