I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
