Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
