I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She said her name was "party"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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