If i could tip my vagina, i would.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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