So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
