haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
