This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
