opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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