youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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