okay pat passed out under dana's car
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it glows. i had to have it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
