I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
