I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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