I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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