capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
