Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
