uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
