Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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