All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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