i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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