I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
