Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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