It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
