If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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