She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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