In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
