is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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