she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
