no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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