Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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