It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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